That Moment (IV)

He left us and joined
His loved one
Leaving alone someone
Whom he couldn’t love
But he left a loved one
Behind too
Me: a little kid
Whom he loved
More dearly than life
Perhaps he weighed his decision
And left me behind
To fend for myself
Alone, powerless and
Unprovided for !
How on earth this decision
Took shape in his mind
Is what irks me till this day
He realized the ramifications
Of his action : no doubting that !
No way it was a hasty and careless action !
Life can never be discarded in this manner
He embraced me
And held me close for
Those unforgettable moments
I sense the warmth of his hug
And tremor of his hands till day !
He knew he was cheating me !
He should not have brought me
In this world
If the ultimate objective
Was betrayal and desertion…
God might have betrayed him
But he has no right to betray me
He fully understood
His child’s present and future
Would be mangled yet
He went through his decision.

And now I speak to myself :
O Paagal !
Certain human actions are inexplicable
They shall ever remain like that
How and why a mind reacts against
The grain, is impossible to gauge
Try not to torment your mind
By attempting unwarranted insights
Into your biological father’s inclination
Factors weighing on her tormented mind
Already passed into oblivion with him
Pagle ! commendable is your spirit
Which pulled you through the trials of
Being orphaned at the age of six !
Take lessons from that moment
Never re-live that
Nor allow anybody to
Live that…………………..